The date is 5/17/16 and I am not feeling so great, so I decided to start a list of the reasons I need to stick around. I have no idea if part 2 will come before part 1 n the reader’s timeline, or if there will even be a part 2 (this one was plenty hard enough). Enjoy (or, more likely, don’t).
- Today (or months from now?) is my older sister’s birthday and I need to be here (there?) for that. I need to remind her again of why she’s so amazing and stuff and how happy I am that we existed at the same time so we could be dying together. We’re both dying and everything is going to end in pain and misery and tears and fire and death and misfortune and despair, but at least I have someone who isn’t awful to help me laugh at all the horribleness along the way. Congrats for surviving another year (surprisingly).
- There is a thing called comic con that I am going to before I die that I haven’t been to yet, so by all the laws of timey stuff, I cannot die yet
- TV shows getting renewed
- New books
- Fires (I mean the ones in a fireplace. I promise I am not burning down anybody’s house, yet)
- I need to become a ninja first
- Very poor WiFi in hell
- They also give tons of spoilers and make you read fanfics of your notp
- You can’t watch summer blockbusters down there until winter (the screen keeps melting)
- Wind in the trees is vital for my existence
- Long car rides with fantastic music
- Meeting role models (okay, a few of them I’ll meet when I’m dead. They’re all very hot)
- Teasing my older sister when she gets a boyfriend
- Swings
- Becoming a spy
- Getting Murdered (it’s the only way I’ll meet Sherlock Holmes)
- Maybe I’ll actually be happy and rested and safe someday. Probably not, but maybe.
- Maybe I’ll have a life I don’t want to lose if I keep trying
- Maybe I can help someone, anyone, with what they’re going through because I didn’t give up.
- I have failed to make a complete fool of myself yet, so I have to up my game to convince god I was a mistake.
- There are so many people I haven’t punched yet.
- Time-travel (gotta happen sometime. I think I need a doctor)
- Hunting
- Hitchhiking (through the galaxy)
- Discovering magic (I just really wanna go to Hogwarts)
- I have yet to make people wish they weren’t here (no one takes a hint)
Charlotte L. Dodgson
Post Card from a Pessimist 