I guess this is the place where I am expected to share my success story and inspire people to work hard and reach their goals. Unfortunately, most evidence suggests that this mind-set is simply a joke made up by our ancestors so that they could have a fun show to look down upon. A lot of people running around trying their hardest is a lot more interesting than the strictly logical approach of lying down and giving up.
Anyway, my name is Charlotte L. Dodgson, and I am a pessimist. I have increased my knowledge of the universe only a miniscule amount since I have arrived on this particular planet, and find it to be quite boring and tragically uneventful. This is, of course, only the calm before the storm, and I plan to be more than prepared for those silly people with motivational quotes and images of sunrises when the world explodes. Personally, I prefer to sit back and enjoy the light show. Certainly, we could all laugh in the face of danger, and then die like every other helpless human, but I prefer to stand behind all those people laughing in the face of danger and counteract their strong optimism with my slightly more realistic pessimism.
I relate to jelly fish on an emotional level, although my true spirit animal is Marvin the Robot. I tend, despite my typical personality, to get excited about certain subjects. I generally consider myself a member of the insane, doomed race sectioned into fandoms, sometimes known as fangirls.
On a (slightly) more serious note, my level of sanity, already lowered, was decimated by the onset of several mental issues. I struggle with feelings of hopelessness and high anxiety and, after spending months bouncing for hospital to hospital, have begun trying to string something resembling a life together, with little success. Finding a reason to get up in the morning is the primary reason I decided to start this blog. I thought that something that brought together my creativity and love of writing, along with a sense of responsibility, might be a large enough motivator to help. I do not care if anyone actually reads this. I do not care if this whole idea is a huge flop. I do not need a blog full of happy pictures and optimistic quotes. I need something that matches how I feel, and if that is funny, then I will be funny, if it is depressing, then I will be the most depressing person you have ever seen. But every now and then I do feel hopeful. I don’t believe in always taking the easy path.
And that is as optimistic as you’ll ever see me get. Mostly because the entire world is dying and the universe is collapsing and soon everyone is forgotten, including me.
Wish you weren’t here,
Charlotte L. Dodgson